I should have stayed in bed.

So I'm trying to think exactly when my day started going wrong....I'm thinking it was probably the exact moment my feet hit the bedroom floor.

First off, I am NOT a morning person.  Unfortunately, my boss IS.  So this morning, like he does every so often, he asks me to be in his office for an early meeting.  It was only scheduled for a half hour earlier than my normal start time (8:30), but to get there a half hour earlier means I have to get up an entire HOUR earlier because of the trains, and considering my commute is already almost an hour and a half, well, "cranky" doesn't even begin to cover it.  To make matters worse, when I get there, he is on a conference call and promptly cancels our meeting. Grrr.  Off I go to sit in an empty room until the next meeting starts at 9.

By the time the next meeting starts I am really in a lovely state of mind, and I desperately try to stay awake while people with an inflated sense of self importance ramble on about insignificant mountain-like molehills.  This meeting goes on for TWO HOURS.  Honestly.  Toward the end, I get an email from my boss asking me to sit in on a meeting immediately following - apparently a potential client is coming in.  I speak to my boss briefly before the meeting starts and I ask who the client is.  "I don't know" he says, "they keep calling me and calling me and finally I just had my admin schedule a meeting".  Okay fine, so I sit in the conference room and await our guests.  Shortly thereafter, three folks come walking in and introduce themselves.  "Asshole lawyer, nice to meet you" (shaking of hands).  "Benign token woman, pleasure" (more shaking) "Potential New Client.  Charmed" (shake, shake....wait.....).  As New Potential Client (NPC) introduces himself, I start to shake his hand very slowly and blink at him.  This is because his name has just registered as the  INFAMOUS ARCH ENEMY of one of our most important clients (to be known as "Our Guy"). I mean seriously, if they developed a comic book about our industry, there would be Our Guy with his hands on his hips with a flowing red cape, and NPC twiddling his mustache and laughing maniacally over a woman tied across the railroad tracks.  This is a man who just last week was being given an industry award at a recent event and I wouldn't even look up at the podium lest Our Guy (who I was sitting with) think that for one second I supported the (blasphemous!) decision to honor this man.   I am wondering how the F my boss has allowed this man inside the building.  Now, my boss comes strolling in, and I watch him go through the same thing I just did.  And sure enough, I watch his smile fade as he realizes who New Potential Client is.  Right before NPC starts talking, my boss interrupts him and asks if he could speak to me outside for a second.  I follow him out of the room and the second he turns around I yell-whisper "WHAT THE HELL??"  to which he responds "I didn't know it was him!!!" to which we both repeat at the same time - "FUCK!!!"  We regain composure and go back in.

Turns out NPC wants to do a deal with us.  However, he knows that we have never done a deal with him in the past because Our Guy hates him.  We are not obligated to do a deal with NPC, nor do we want to because if we did Our Guy would blow a gasket.  In fact, as NPC and Big Asshole Lawyer are "giving us the background" (a background I know full well of because Our Guy professes his undying hatred for NPC on a routine basis) I am trying to calculate how likely it is that someone saw NPC enter our building, how long it will be until Our Guy finds out he was here, and which method I am going to employ to extinguish my boss for being such a complete and utter bonehead.  There is a lull in the conversation and I suddenly hear myself explaining that this deal doing is a tricky business, that involves uh, strategy and stuff, and that while we will certainly entertain any proposal you may have, we are in fact contemplating not doing deals with anyone in your particular line of work anymore....so basically - don't get your hopes up sweetheart, this ain't happenin'.  Apparently Big Asshole Lawyer didn't like that answer (cause he knows full well why we aren't going to do a deal), and proceeded to yell, pound the table and threaten us with lawsuits and the like, and it got really ugly.  So ugly we had to pull our lawyer into the room which led to a battle of the arrogant egos, which would have been entertaining if my heart wasn't pounding the whole time.  The clock strikes 11:30 and my boss decides that he must leave the room like RIGHT THIS SECOND, SO SORRY, TALK TO YOU LATER and leaves me and our lawyer in the room.  There is more arguing, more of them alluding to reasons why we wont do the deal and more of our bullshit explanations as to what the real reasons are.  We end it with our lawyer basically telling them that we can do a deal with whomever we want, or in this case NOT do a deal with whomever we want, but that we will review their proposal and get back to them forthwith.  I can tell you who is NOT signing the letter telling them we've decided to pass.  

This has thrown off my whole day, because now I am scrambling to speak to everyone involved with Our Guys account, to get facts for our lawyer on several accusations Big Asshole Lawyer made.  I finish a few conference calls, run outside and grub a cigarette from a complete stranger and make a few more calls on the issue.  As I choke down my lunch before my next meeting, my cell phone rings and it's my husband.  He just got rear-ended on the way home from the zoo - the police and ambulance are on the way.  Everyone is fine, but my son was crying so much the police suggested he get checked out as a precaution.  The back bumper and hitch are demolished which isn't major but it's a royal pain.  Fortunately, monkey was fine, and even enjoyed chatting up the EMT guys  and spending time in a real live ambulance.  

At this point my nerves are frazzled - I make sure my boss has Our Guys cell phone number and a script on how to tell him why we invited the devil inside, and I came home.  

My husband cheered me up with a good dinner and a visit to Best Buy to check out SLR cameras - I'm buying myself a good one for my birthday this year so we're doing our homework (more on that one later).  I knitted a bit, posted this and now I'm off to bed.

What a freaking day!!!


Bezzie said...

Moral of the story: make sure you know the name of who you're scheduling meetings with. YIkes!

Shaken Mama said...

Thank you for this trip back into the land of meetings and clients! I miss it, if you can believe it!!! No, I'm sure you can't believe it. But anyway, keep telling me work stories! :-)

Jenni said...

Ack!!! Although i would have loved to see your "WHAT THE HELL???!!!!" interaction with your boss, the rest of the meeting just sounds horrendous. Kind of makes me wonder why NPC would even try to schedule a meeting with your guys, since he already knows of your loyalty to Our Guy. Was he trying to stir up trouble?

Rachael said...

I HATE when early meetings get cancelled and I only find out after I get there. Throws off my whole day.

Jenny said...


And, if you haven't bought already don't buy a cheap dslr, get the midrange, you won't regret it.
(I got the canon xti first and then months later upgraded to a 40d)

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About me...

My son is adopted.  I love to knit.  I'm the breadwinner and my husband is a SAHD.  Yes, I am slightly off center from the norm.  So?